One quote I have come back to lately has been incredibly important to me:

Listen to the voice calling you beloved

Henri J.M. Nouwen 

This quote led to the creation of my newest art piece over break.

Beloved is a strong contender for my favorite word in the Bible. I love the reminder it brings every time I read it: I am deeply and dearly loved by God. Also, no matter how I feel about anyone else, they are also deeply beloved.

I also have begun to see the word beloved instead as “be-loved”. When days are hard, I need to take time to relax and be held by my Heavenly Father and the Holy Family.

My deepest identity has and always will be as a beloved daughter of God. This art piece is a great simple reminder to look at each morning when I wake up and each night when I go to bed.

With all of the noise in the world, take some time to focus on the voice calling you His beloved daughter or son.

As many of you may know I love to share my “highs and lows” of each day to a few friends and I have been keeping track of them each week as a sort of recap. For me, I love being able to look back on the good and bad of each day.

With that being said, here is a look back at my 2020 with the 20 highs and the lows.

Highs

1. Going to West Bend to visit Kelsey and Leah
2. Teaching religion class with Tara and Liz
3. Watching the Blessed is She Restore Retreat
4. Rachel’s Bridal Shower
5. Mass for the Solemnity of St. Joseph (the last one before quarantine)
6. Virtual Triduum retreat that Kylie led
7. Making Holy Family illustrations for my Computer Graphics course
8. Getting to work for the SNC IT department for summer on a variety of fun projects
9. Dinner at Erin’s and her asking me to be her maid of honor for her wedding in the summer of 2022
10. Eleanor’s Confirmation during Mass and getting to be her sponsor
11. Dr. Pankratz and Dr. McVey’s (two of my computer science professors) wedding with Lauren and other Computer Science majors
12. Finding out Red and Ben are expecting their first little girl in January
13. Fox River walks with Leah and Lauren looking at houses we want
14. Tuesday and (most) Thursday mornings with 6:30 am Mass and sunrise rosaries with Leah and laughing through many of them
15. Katie’s 21st birthday celebration at a cabin in Friendship, WI
16. Chiara Christmas and Dance Party
17. Finishing the whole semester on campus and coming home at Thanksgiving
18. Finishing my Marian Consecration on the feast of the Immaculate Conception
19. Christmas Shopping with Katie and eating at Olive Garden
20. Singing for Christmas Eve Mass

Lows

1. Great Grandpa Gordy’s funeral
2. Long work hours last winter while working three jobs at once
3. Finishing work at Schreiber and having to say goodbye to some great coworkers
4. Trying to balance a healthy faith life and homework and other roles as a student
5. Eleanor needing surgery and having to postpone her Confirmation
6. Getting really sick at the end of February and needing to skip a class to sleep
7. Uncle Gary passing away
8. My TRIPS Service Trip in South Carolina being canceled
9. Having to say goodbye to all my friends
10. Not being able to hug anyone
11. All of COVID and being scared to go anywhere
12. Finishing spring semester online
13. Not being able to go to Mass for over two months
14. The Lauren Daigle concert I was planning to go to with Kelsey for our 20th birthdays was postponed
15. Schreiber canceling their summer program, meaning I couldn’t come back
16. Giving away my childhood piano (it was both good and bad)
17. Really bad sunburn from a beach trip that I still have bad tanlines from
18. Working from home really challenged my motivation
19. Withdrawing from my first college course
20. Losing my favorite rosary

This year really forced me to slow down and focus on what is really important and appreciate the little moments. For me, that meant a much deeper relationship with Jesus and the Holy Family. In May, on the Feast of St. Joseph the Worker, I consecrated myself to St. Joseph, and then in December, on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, I consecrated myself to Mother Mary. For many days, my favorite part was my morning rosary. I decided to do a 54-day novena for Lent and once we went into quarantine I decided not to stop and it has been over 300 days since starting.

Many of my recent Advent nights have ended just like the image at the top of the photo, with my Bible, a candle, my rosary, and virtual Adoration. I have loved this time at the end of each day to slow down and relax and end my day with what is really important in life.

One of my goals this year was to read the Bible each day after never having read a book start to finish. I started last Advent by reading a chapter of Luke a day starting on December 1st and ending on Christmas Eve. Since then I have finished 22 books and am currently reading Sirach. Next year, I want to finish up the New Testament and dig a bit into Isaiah.

Overall, 2020 made me appreciate the little moments. The moments of joy when I could see the light in the darkness and smile through it all. One of my favorite moments during (almost) every Mass was when Em and I would wink at each other during the sign of peace; it always made me smile and remember how lucky I was to be at school surrounded by my friends. During quarantine, I loved it when I would go for morning rosary walks around the block and get to enjoy the beautiful weather this summer. Another activity I’ve loved while at home is playing cards with the family most Friday nights.

I know this is probably a unpopular opinion, but I’m thankful for 2020; it forced me to slow down and appreciate what I have and who is around me.

I know I’ve been posting a lot more frequently lately but Jesus and the Holy Spirit are so good and I just feel so compelled to share.

I am rewatching a Virtual Bible Study (VBS) with Blessed is She and they discussed an easy way to share the Gospel, the 4 Rs. Below is an incredible (and simple) way explained by Beth Davis to share and understand the Good News of the Gospel.

1. Relationship – We were created to be in an unbroken relationship with God the Father.
2. Rupture – We ruptured that relationship through sin. Adam and Eve were cast out of the garden and we rupture our personal relationship with the Lord through sin every day.
3. Restore – Jesus came to the Earth to restore that relationship with the Father by dying on a cross for you, for me, for us.
4. Respond (or Recieve) – We have to respond by receiving that sacrifice. We receive His life for our life and we give Him our lives in response to that sacrifice.

Here is the full video (with some cool hand motions)! The conversation begins around 29:30

It may not seem like it but I’m always so terrified to share my faith because for so long I felt ashamed and was made fun of it for it. Praise the Lord that He has put so many supportive and amazing people in my life now. And just looking back at my life, I just fully see God’s hand in it because nothing in my life is the same since encountering the personal love of God. I’ve changed so much since going to college and so much of it for the better because of Jesus Christ and the gift of the Holy Spirit.

I can be afraid to share but God is just too good and I can’t hold it in any longer. The world is filled with so much uncertainty and hopelessness right now, fill yourself with some joy and hope! If you are curious or want to start or rekindle your relationship with Jesus Christ please reach out to me! I’d love to video call you (during quarantine) or buy you a coffee (post quarantine). Friends, He can and will change your life the same way he changed mine.

At the beginning of Lent at the end of February, my biggest faith worry was honestly if I had enough time to eat after daily Mass before class or if I would find enough time in my day to do a daily rosary. That sounds so ridiculous writing that now based on everything that has happened since then, but that’s the truth and I no longer have to worry about either of those things.

The week before spring break was a rough one for me like many others. In a matter of basically two days everything went from manageable to you may not see your friends or so many things you love for another five months. Spiritually for me, this meant going to Mass seven times a week and spending about 12-15 hours a week in church to all churches being closed and not leaving the house for three weeks.

“Attending” Mass online has been a bit of a rough adjustment, but being able to listen to priest’s homilies from around the world and be in such a deep community of prayer is deeply inspiring to me. The Catholic Church is coming together more than ever right now and I feel like it is stronger than ever.

Also, there are more free resources than ever available to us at the click of our mouse. For me, it has actually been a bit overwhelming as I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to be able to consume all of the incredible resources available.

Coming into Holy Week, it was just a very odd feeling. Maybe that is just because I never remember what day it is anymore (whoops) or since I am always at home, the anticipation of being able to come home from school is gone or maybe this season just feels like a never-ending Lent and it is weird that Lent is actually ending. Nevertheless, time doesn’t stop no matter how much we want it to and I had to figure out how to prepare myself for the Triduum.

The Triduum

In the Catholic Church, the Triduum is the time period of Holy Thursday through Easter Sunday. Although seen as separate, the Masses/services are meant to be one continuous movement throughout the days. These are arguably the most important days for the Church and it is so hard to be at home and not able to celebrate in direct community for them. This year is especially a bit harder because I was supposed to be on a silent retreat at St. Norbert Abbey for this time and one of my favorite reasons to come home is to sing with my church choir and I’m not able to do that either this year. Still, my two favorite Masses are involved in the Triduum: Holy Thursday and the Easter Vigil.

Holy Thursday

I think my first year going to Holy Thursday Mass was during my senior year of high school, meaning this is only the third year I’ve gone/watched. Until this year I don’t think I ever realized the importance of Holy Thursday, how much happened on that day, and how beautiful of a celebration it is.

The major event is the Last Supper and the institution of the Eucharist. Not being able to physically receive the Eucharist during this time hurts me each time I watch Mass. However, I needed this time of separation. I think I started to take it for granted and never fully entered into Jesus’ sacrifice because of how available it was to me. Now, being physically away for almost a month, I realize how much I long for the Eucharist and how perfect His sacrifice is for us.

Secondly, Jesus washes the feet of his Apostles. There are a few things that stick out to me with this event. First, Jesus is literally God and doesn’t have to do anything for anyone, but out of pure love, He kneels down and washes each Apostle’s feet one by one. To me, this just shows how personal He wants to have a relationship with each of us and just how much he cares. Also, Jesus knew Judas would betray him just mere hours later, but He still took on the role of a servant and washes His feet. I don’t think I will ever even be able to comprehend that in my very limited human brain.

After the Last Supper and the washing of the Apostle’s feet, Jesus endures the Agony in the Garden. For me, a garden is typically a place of beauty and rebirth, especially in the spring. So the idea of Jesus going through such sorrow in that place that I associate with beauty allows me to think of inviting Jesus into even the painful situations of my life and into the garden of my heart especially when it hurts the most. He has been there and He understands that pain and wants to be with us always, especially in our sufferings.

Easter Vigil

Ever since I went to and sang at my first Easter Vigil in middle school, I fell in love. The first thing that is capturing is the pure beauty of the Mass. Typically, the Easter candle is lit around a fire outside and then the fire from that candle is passed around the church as each person has their own individual candle and slowly each person is holding the light of Christ.

Then, arguably the best part of the liturgical year happens where the Gloria is sang for the first times signaling the end of Lent and all of the lights are turned on in the church as the joy of the Easter season is here because He has risen!

Thank goodness for technology and being able to watch the beauty of this Mass unfold with my little candle next to my computer, but nothing will ever compare to getting to physically see it in a church filled with people.

Throughout this Lent I have been able to journey through Blessed Is She’s Lent Devotional “Here Too” explaining each week a place where God meets us in our journeys. This devotional was so needed for me this year because on campus I feel like it is easy to confine God to church. Each time I walk into the church I feel connected, but then I decide to leave Him there and continue on with the daily mini stresses of life and classes, never really inviting Him into those smaller moments as well.

This forced separation and time of rest in my life when everything is cancelled and I’m at home has really allowed me to see God in every moment. He is in every moment. Not just at Church.

Our God has risen. ALLELUIA! He has shattered death and His power can never be contained only in a building, He is such a personal and loving God right next to us in every step of the journey, the dark and the light.

Let Him grab you by the hand and lead you into the light today during this very different season of life.

It is no secret that there is a lot of uncertainty and despair in the world right now and times are hard. For a long time, I have kept most of this story hidden from the world because I never really know how I will be received after being so vulnerable. In all honesty, I’m terrified to even scrape the surface. This is by no means perfect, but I hope you get to know a bit more about my journey and just have hope that Jesus can and will save you too.

The short story, Jesus Christ saves my life with his love in each and every moment and I can’t stay quiet any longer.

Does this mean every moment of my life has been perfect? Far from it, but I know he is with me in every moment.

From the Beginning

I was raised as a “cradle Catholic” and went to Mass every Saturday. I journeyed through many years of religion class and was always the “know-it-all” just because I went to Mass on the weekends. Yet in reality, I knew maybe a grain of sand of what the Catholic faith ever had to offer.

Falling in Love with Jesus

For me, falling in love with Jesus was very much a journey, there wasn’t one moment that I just knew. The first major step in this long journey was joining the Spirit Choir at my church  Prince of Peace right before I started seventh grade. Middle school was rough to me, as it is to almost everyone. But, the ability to have the backbone of so many friends who shared my faith was such a comfort to me. They helped me through so many moments in my life and they were truly sent by God. There are honestly no words to ever thank them enough because they showed me the love of Jesus in such a new and unique way through every moment I spent with them.

High School and Friendships

For most of my life, I had struggled to develop strong friendships; I felt like I just floated from person to person. High school was one of the first times I felt ridiculed for my faith. The ridicule mostly included some simple jokes from time to time, but over time, these “jokes” really started to make me question my faith. During junior year, I started to wear a cross necklace and my Confirmation ring which was the biggest step of faith- and it was terrifying. But that necklace and ring were such comforts during hard times, I just knew God was always with me. I went to a very public high school and I’m thankful for many of those experiences, but I was in a Bible Study club for three years with only four people in it. This may seem normal, but we had over two thousand people go to my high school so percentages weren’t great.

During the end of junior year, I felt like I had finally found a friend group and I tried to latch onto them for dear life. Overall, Jesus showed me (in a very painful way) that we weren’t a match for each other forever and it was better if we weren’t friends long term. That realization culminated the week before my high school graduation and the night before my 18th birthday. It is still really hard for me to think about. It has led to a long journey of forgiveness for all those involved.

The Struggles in my Life

There have been many little struggles that I have dealt with daily. However, there have also been a few struggles that have been a bit bigger in my life. I just shared some of my friendship struggles. These really led to me feel alone for much of my life and to have a lot of major trust issues with friends. Possibly the biggest struggle I have dealt with is my negativity and my bouts of depression. For so many years I was enslaved to the image I had of myself and the world. For many that met me, my deep sadness was one of the first things they saw. This pains me so much to write because I know how hard I was trying to be happy, and I felt like no one ever saw it – that they only saw my sadness and not how hard I was trying to be happy, that they could see who I really was. This sadness and obsession with what others thought of me chained me to the world through the thrones of habitual sin and Jesus is breaking those chains every day. He has cleansed my mind and continues to show me in each moment to look to him so he can show me how he sees me, perfectly as his beloved daughter. He has saved me and he can and will save you. I feel like such a burden has been lifted off my shoulders and I can smile now that I have accepted his grace in my life. Believe me, there are still hard days, but it is so much easier when I give it all to God.

College Life

For so many, college is a time to fall away from the faith. You are away from parents, make your own decisions, and honestly never have to go to church anymore. However, like many places in my life, I was a bit different. I embraced the ability to go to a Catholic college and ran with it. I loved going to Mass during the weekend and also Wednesday nights with just students. I had never been in a place with so many young adults who loved the Lord and wanted to go to Mass together. It became such a place of fellowship and friendship. About halfway through freshman year, I was introduced to the beauty of Adoration. I have met so many incredible friends that truly know me (and love me even because they know me). Daily, they remind me of Jesus’ unconditional love for me.

Since I had the ability to live literally connected to the church this year, I spent many hours of my weeks in church just laying on the floor in front of the Tabernacle just talking to Jesus like he was sitting right there (because he is). I’ve had the ability to be on the executive board for Chiara, the Catholic women’s group on campus and am inspired so deeply by each one of them. My hope and joy of each day is found in Jesus and even in rough moments, I felt so consoled by him and he just gave me the ability to smile. Each day I want to spend more and more time with Jesus and so many moments I spend with others bring me back to his love. So many nights are spent laughing with friends until we can’t breathe or crying at the pure beauty of friendship and the Lord.

Fast Forward to Today

Okay so maybe about a month ago. I was honestly at the top of the world in my life. I was really enjoying (most of) my classes and was having a really healthy balance of school, faith, and work. I was able to go Mass at least seven times a week, was preparing for a service trip over spring break in South Carolina, had the ability to go on a silent retreat over the Triduum at the Abbey, I was starting to plan a retreat for our Catholic women’s group for April, I was deepening some incredible faith friendships, and many other things were going so well and in the course of a week, most of that all came crashing down. Suddenly, I was being sent home until August because of the Corona Virus and navigating online classes away from my best friends and the Church I called my home. To make matters worse, now we weren’t allowed to leave the house. I went from running around over twelve hours a day to being at home with very little to do. But, I know each step in my journey is for the Lord to connect deeper to me and he knows every part of my journey. I have been forced to relax a bit this week and have been able to participate in so many incredible faith communities from across the country from live stream Mass, live Adoration, BIS VBS, and many other materials available to me.

For so many years of my life, I was so ashamed of my faith. I struggled for so long with depression and negativity and God continues to cleanse my thoughts and feelings about myself every single day to help me see him the way he sees me. Each moment of my life, he brings hope, he brings healing, he brings forgiveness, he brings happiness. I could literally go on for hours about how much I love the Lord; he is my best friend and I fall in love with him more and more deeply every single day.

Jesus wants a personal relationship with you, yes YOU.

Even though I am terrified to publish this, there is so much healing and greatness in vulnerability. Please never feel like a burden coming to me to talk about anything or if you just need a good laugh (or cry). Jesus took hold of my heart and I’m so glad he will never let go even if I don’t always feel his presence as much as I do right now. Thank you for each and every person who has supported me in each step of my journey of many mountains and many valleys, I look forward to continuing my journey through the ups and downs of life with you all as we travel with the Lord!

Dear Cassie,

First of all, you survived high school and almost half of college! Congrats! That is an accomplishment in itself. I recently was able to read the letter you wrote to yourself and it was really eye-opening. Honestly, most of the struggles that you faced that seemed so big at the time, I had kinda forgotten about. Looking back, it will all be okay even though it may not seem like it right now. I’m so happy to tell you how you are doing and let you know that it is okay if your life doesn’t turn out the way you were hoping.

There is no road map in life, I’m sure you know this already. If I ever had the chance to meet you, I think this is what I would like to say. Here are the 20 pieces of advice I would try to give you for the (almost) 20 years I have been alive. Full disclosure, some of these I am still trying to believe and live by. I am sure I am missing so many things I wish I would have known in the past five years, but here are the most important things I remember.

1. You are a daughter of God and that will forever be enough
2. You will never be alone; God is always present, especially when you can’t feel him
3. Your faith will continue to save you every day of your life
4. Never feel ashamed of your faith (I’m still learning this one)
5. Accepting God’s love and trying to reciprocate it is the best decision you will ever make
6. There is nothing wrong with having friends older than you. They will soon become your second family
7. The more time you spend with Jesus, the happier you will be
8. Prayer is just a conversation with your best friend, there are no rules you have to follow
9. High school can be hard without a close friend group, but there is a reason many best friendships are formed in college. P.S. Living next to your best friends is such an incredible experience
10. You learn more from failure than you ever will from success. It might take falling off your loft the night before an exam to get you to slow down to breathe, but it is so important
11. Sometimes losing a relationship is the biggest blessing you could ever ask for in life
12. Just because you don’t have a mind-blowing Jesus conversion story doesn’t make your story any less valid
13. Your relationship with God is the most important relationship in your own life
14. Grades are important, but so many other things are as well. PLEASE take time away from the books and make sure you are present to those closest to you. At the end of the day on the bigger side of life, grades really won’t help you, but your friends will
15. Please stop trying to impress everyone around you and only compare yourself to the you that you were yesterday. At the end of each day, you are the only person who is with you 24 hours a day and it is most important for you to be happy with who you are
16. Be present in the moment. Please don’t wish each day away because eventually, you will wish away your whole life.
17. One day, you will finally be able to smile with authentic joy. Please hold onto this joy and know it all comes from above
18. Everything in life is gradual, very few things happen overnight, but looking back you will be mountains from where you started.
19. Try to say a little “yes” to God every day whether that is prayer when you are exhausted, going to adoration for five minutes, or reading a book of the bible instead of looking at Instagram. These little “yeses” can add up to something much greater.
20. You are exceptionally yourself and no one else will ever be you

But in all honesty, I don’t think I would tell you any of this. The struggles and accomplishments that you face will make you who you are today. I am proud of who I am becoming, and it is all because of the triumphs and challenges I have faced in my life; many of which you are struggling with right now.

I will tell you this: it may not get easier, but it gets better, so much better.

With Love,

Cassie from the future

One of my biggest goals for the past few weeks has been to remain positive and focus on the good. If you know me, you know this can be a real struggle, especially surrounded by the stress that college can be.

The easiest way for me to do this is to give everything to God. Now, this is easy to say but one of the hardest things for me to do. Theoretically it should be easy to trust the God who created you and your life, but honestly, it’s terrifying. I love to have everything planned for weeks, months, and even years in advance and lately blindly trusting has been closer to that plan.

The best way for me to do this is by listening to those around me. I know God has placed each person in my life because each and every day they help bring my relationship back to him and I see his love constantly through them. It could be something as simple as a smile or watching Magic School Bus or laughing over dinner at Dales or sending emails during Theology or life talks while avoiding Calc homework or an hour and a half long phone conversations instead of going to bed. All of these little moments help me remember God’s perfect and unconditional love for me.

One of the biggest transitions this year has not been living with and next to some of my best friends. Last year was truly special and a unique situation and I miss some parts of it. I will say I am not sure how anything got done last year with the countless hours in the lounge and movie nights because now all of my free moments are spent doing homework. However, when I do get to see everyone it is a time I truly cherish and I know if we see each other 5 hours a day or 5 hours a semester we will still remain close. I love them will all of my heart and do truly miss each one of them endlessly.

Another thing I have tried to make a conscious effort about is believing what those around me tell me. I used to think everyone around me was just being nice to my face but secretly couldn’t stand me. It seems crazy, right? Well, my brain told me otherwise. I am now trying to always remember that they aren’t lying to me. They do truly love me and care for me and my success.

This past week during dinner some of my friends gave me what Father Mike would call “my wake up call from God.” It really just consisted of them having a full conversation of telling me what I needed to hear but believe me, I didn’t want to. The conversation focused on one central topic: I complain a lot. Now, this isn’t new at all (see above) but it is something I am trying to work on.

I have found out the root of the problem usually lies in the little moments. The moments that I could easily let annoy me and upset me and ruin my day but that have no real effect on my overall life are where I am trying to find God the most. Instead of complaining I’m trying to breathe and smile and find something good in my life at that moment. Lately, that has been focusing on the beauty outside that is the fall season or spending time in church. These little moments are the times that I find God the most. Simple prayers when I feel stressed instead of complaints are the easiest ways I am trying to ground myself back into my faith.

Here are some photos showing the beauty of fall across campus!

Now, it may seem like my whole life is stressful right now and it sometimes feels that way, but I am still able to get out and have some fun. The main activity I love being involved with is Chiara. It is the Catholic women’s group on campus and I love being able to be the Treasurer and help plan the events. The women in that group constantly help me turn back to God and are continuously teaching me more about my faith while simultaneously becoming some of my closest friends.

I have also had the ability to join pep band and play for the homecoming game last weekend! This was a great relaxing few hours away from homework and brought back loads of memories.

My favorite weekly tradition, however, continues to be Knight Mass and Dales. Each Wednesday at 9pm we celebrate mass in one of the residence halls on the 4th floor in the chapel. It is just a great hour of fellowship with students and centers my focus back on God for the second half of the week. Afterward, we all head to Dales for wing night and just lots of laughs and friendship.

Life can easily become overwhelming and stressful in a blink of an eye, but taking it one minute at a time sometimes is the best option. Always seeing God in the little moments has helped me to relax and trust a little bit more.

As much of a whirlwind that life can seem like, it has become important for me to look back at how far I have come on my life journey. I understand why the phrase is “hindsight is 20/20” but I can honestly say I don’t regret many of the decisions I have made because they continue to be what has shaped me into who I am today and who I am happy I am becoming.

Please do not take this post the wrong way to say “I am a perfect Catholic” and “She has it all together” because I will be the first to tell you that is so far from the truth. I continue to find peace and understanding in my faith and some of the most faithful people in my life are the most broken and I fit right into that fact. In my life I have found that the most stressful moments are the most important to bring myself back into my faith and remind myself what is really important overall.

If you would have told me five years ago how faithful I would be today, I probably would have laughed at you. However, the incredible support around me has helped me grow towards God. Coming to college, many students fall away from their faith, but I am the exact opposite. Because of all of the faith opportunities and people around me, especially the girls in Chiara, I am continuously pushed deeper into my faith, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I honestly never thought I would be in this position in my life, and I still continue to pinch myself sometimes.

Disclaimer: I am writing this more for myself than anyone else. Honestly, Sophomore year hit me hard and September was challenging to put it easily. For most of the month, I was covered in piles of homework and trying to keep my head above water in the rushing river rapids that are life. To top it off, my body decided to shut down a bit and get very sick in the last week. There were many moments when it was hard to see God’s love, but understanding how many blessings and support I am surrounded with is and was incredibly important.

On the hardest days, it becomes the most important to remember the incredible number of ways I have been blessed by God. Here are some of the five biggest blessings that remind me to smile and feel God’s arms of love.

1. My Faith is Celebrated

Being able to go to a place where my faith is celebrated and given support to flourish. It can be no secret that SNC isn’t the most “Catholic” Catholic college, but even being able to be in such close proximity to the church and able to walk in at any moment I am struggling has really been a blessing. Coming from a very public high school, I never had much faith support, and now living literally connected to the church, allows me to connect to my faith at all moments. When times are hardest, I love to sit in the church at night in front of the tabernacle, and just have a conversation in prayer with God.

I recently had the opportunity to attend a speaking event called Reboot by Chris Stefanick. It was a great night spent with great people and an ability to create new friendships centered on faith. Here are five of my favorite quotes from the event!

1. “God could not do more than He’s already done”
2. “The difference between you and God is that God never thinks He’s you.”
3. “You think father’s boring? Try getting on the other side of the pulpit and looking at y’all.”
4. “He didn’t die on the cross so you could come here and play holy. He likes to hear your songs of praise, He loves to year your deepest shame, your darkest sin.”
5. “Not perfect, but authentic to share the faith.”

2. Attending St. Norbert

I find it quite funny to look back and think I never wanted to go to St. Norbert. Just like many kids, I wanted to move a bit farther away, but now looking back I could never imagine myself anywhere else. I guess that’s why they say that hindsight is 20/20! The number of opportunities available to me here allows me to create a unique experience unlike any other student here. Also, there are so many incredible Faculty and Staff that truly cares about me and my future and how I am doing. I am so thankful for each person on this campus, especially those that push me to be a better student and person, and I’m so thankful I decided to come here. There are so many incredible people who don’t have the opportunity to go to college, and it’s truly a blessing to be able to even be a student at SNC.

3. Friends That Push Me in my Faith

This year I have the blessing of being on the E-Board as Chiara as the treasurer. Chiara is the Catholic Women’s Group on campus and it has been a space for faith support and friendship for me. I have met countless women that are constantly pushing me to grow deeper in my faith and constantly show me God’s love and grace for each of us. Each of the girls is a source of constant support for me in my faith journey and always knows how to cheer me up and bring me back deeper into my faith. I am more thankful than words can ever express for each one of these girls and the love they constantly show me.

4. Close Friends and Moral Support

I love being back on campus for one main reason, I get to see everyone again! However, one of the biggest changes this year compared to last year is the amount of work I have. I feel like I am constantly doing homework and never seem to be caught up. I am constantly questioning myself on how I had any free time last year because I don’t seem to have any this year! I don’t get to see everyone as much as last year, but that makes the times I do get to see them even more special. Coming from high school where I didn’t have many friends to such a strong group of friends and support here, is truly something I’m thankful for. After a long day of classes and homework, I love to walk around campus and talk to friends or laugh at a dumb movie or show. I am so thankful for all those around me who give me moral support and help me to laugh in the most stressful times.

5. Support Back Home

My last major blessing is the support I have from back home. I haven’t been able to go home yet since I moved in because each weekend has been crazy, but I always know I have support from family and friends back home. Little moments and texts randomly throughout the day help me to remember their support. I am thankful for each little moment I feel blessed from support back home whether that is being sent a random meme, a meaningful text, or a random visit to bring Culvers!

It can be extremely hard to feel anything except stress when life is overwhelming but being able to take a step back and take a deep breath and think about just a few of the incredible blessings God has placed into my life is incredibly important. 

One easy way that I have helped to do this is each morning before I start my day, I read the daily reading and devotion from Blessed Is She. I also try to state one thing I am grateful for that day. This is an easy and great way to start your day in the right mindset and give your anxieties and everything that happens that day over to God.

“Jesus changes the story, He changes our story”

Chris Stefanick

Deacon Jeff’s Homily focused on Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” When I heard this verse, everything in my life just seemed to make a bit more sense.

There were multiple times in the past week that I just had to breathe and think to myself, ‘Wow, this is my life.’ I was one of the few students at the conference, and I tried to provide a crucial student perspective of the problems that we are facing. I was also able to gain valuable, yet distressing information about other institutions across the country and the world.

I also am not going to sugar coat it, this past week was hard. One person described it as, “Entering into a graduate level class for a subject you didn’t really understand going in,” and that sums it up pretty perfectly. Another thought constantly running through my mind was, “I get to, I don’t have to.” Having this mindset of realizing how privileged I am to be able to go to such an incredible college with so much support surrounding me, helped me to get the most out of this week.

Going into college, I had no idea what I signed up for with the Full Spectrum Learning Research Fellowship; I technically hadn’t even applied (I applied for a different one and was offered this one). I really hoped to start over and focus on myself during college, and that is exactly what this fellowship provided. I had no clue what to expect coming into college, but I was glad for a fresh start with new people.

The fellowship has provided me with countless incredible opportunities that most students would not even imagine or comprehend in all four years, let alone their first year. I have attended two nationwide (and worldwide) conferences with the ability to present at one. I have also presented for the Board of Trustees that oversees St. Norbert College in my second month as a student of the college. Over the past year I have also been able to present for a variety of other conferences including the Undergraduate Research Forum, SyNC business conference, and Hire A Knight.

In most of these situations I am one of very few students they will ever meet from the college, and I have been trusted to represent the college and speak to my experiences that I have had in such a short time. Each time I am able to present and share what I love, I am reminded why I love St. Norbert and how perfect of a fit it is for me.

Another one of the many incredible opportunities that the fellowship has provided me is the ability to show my work on a larger scale. The faculty and staff involved in the project really let me take the website and make it my own and always were there to support me throughout the process. Finally getting to see my hard work on the website and other parts of the project is incredibly rewarding after all year of our hard work and there has been nothing but a positive response.

I know that each opportunity I have had over the past year, and my continued success is all part of God’s plan, and I am finally starting to see all of my hard work pay off.

Community

Another major part of Deacon Jeff’s homily talked to the incredible community that Prince of Peace offers. I am so incredibly blessed to have such a great community in not only one but two parish communities. 

Prince of Peace

The real reason I dove into the deep end of my faith is the Spirit Choir at Prince of Peace. I kinda joined on a whim in sixth grade, and I am so glad I trusted God on this one. From the first time I walked into that choir room, I was met with so much love and support, and that was only the beginning. Each one of them, whether they know it or not, helped me through some of the darkest and hardest moments in my life. Every time I had a hard week I knew I could walk into that choir room on Saturday and my spirit would be lifted instantly. I could have missed a week, or nine months, and they will welcome me with open arms each time (with a little bit of teasing of course).

The choir has also helped me to grow my confidence in ways I could have never imagined. When I first joined, I would only play the mass parts (the parts of the mass that don’t change week to week), and now I will sight read almost anything at the drop of the hat. All we really do is check the key, and then I will try my best. I have realized that you don’t have to be perfect, and usually each verse makes it closer to what it is actually supposed to be. I still get nervous when I play in front of people, and even more when I sing, but I am so proud of myself when I accomplish a piece.

So many in that choir are some of my biggest role models in faith and also in life. Each day they show me God’s unconditional love for each of us. The range of backgrounds and experiences is so inspiring and our faith is what is able to bring us all together; we truly are a little family.

Outside of the choir, the rest of the parish is such a welcoming and inviting community. Each time I walk in the door, I am always met with a smile and a wave from so many people who are truly glad I am a part of this parish. I have heard from so many that there is something special about Prince of Peace, and I am so glad that I feel like I have found my faith home.

St. Norbert

I have also found an incredible community and support at St. Norbert. The first week of classes, somebody mentioned a mass at 9pm in one of the residence halls, and we all decided to check it out. The minute we all walked into that room, we were met with so many incredible people who just radiated with God’s love. I felt relaxed and comfortable and it turned into my favorite part of each week.

There is a strong group of support within the Catholic Groups on campus and it is just such a relaxing feeling. I am so blessed to be able to attend such an amazing school and feel like I have found my home and second faith community.

Beauty of the Sky

On the plane ride home I will admit I wasn’t in the best mood. It had been a long week, our plane was delayed for over three hours, and I had just been trying to work on a blog explaining a really hard educational topic and was frustrated. We still had about five hours until we were going to be home and I wasn’t really having it.

The minute we took off, God had something to show me.

Within thirty seconds of takeoff, my breath was taken away. We flew right over Washington D.C. at night and it was so incredibly beautiful. Words can’t even express it honestly. At that moment, I felt God tell me to relax and trust. I am always caught up in the what if and what is happening next that I forget to live. Seeing how each little dot was a light and how much it lit up the city was incredible. I honestly have no words to describe the feeling.

Another thing that struck me is how small my problems seemed from so high up. Sure, I struggled at the conference, but I was chosen to be one of the only students there and honestly, most people struggled at least a little. I am a rising Sophomore and was in a community with faculty and staff from around the world.

Being able to see the perfect world that God created and knowing that he looked at the world and decided that each one of us needed to be included is just mind-blowing and perfect. Sometimes it is hard to see what God sees in us or how he is with us, but he is constantly fighting battles for us and his unconditional love always shines through.

Each time I decide to let go and trust God’s plan for my life, miracles happen. I have to constantly pinch myself and make sure this is truly the life I’m living, because for the first time in a long time, I feel surrounded by great friends and family and I am enjoying the roller coaster of life I am on. Each part of my jigsaw puzzle is finally clicking into place (if you know, you know).

Going back to Deacon Jeff’s homily and Hebrews 11:1, I have not seen God physically (please let me know if you have), but I see God in each little moment of my life: the good and the bad; I see him each time I walk into church, each time I see joy or pain on my friends and families face, and my views from 10,000 feet up.